Looking after your own wellbeing

Caring and your health

Many carers say that caring brings meaning and closeness. It can also be exhausting, worrying and lonely, especially as dementia progresses.

Carers UK’s figures show how common these struggles are:

• in its State of Caring 2025 survey, 74% of carers said they had felt stressed or anxious, and 40% said they felt depressed
• 35% of carers said their mental health was bad or very bad
• in the GP Patient Survey 2025, 72% of carers said they had a long-term physical or mental health condition
• Carers UK’s State of Caring research found 57% of carers feel overwhelmed often or always

These surveys cover carers of people with many conditions, not only dementia. But they show that if you are finding things hard, you are far from alone.

The NHS says your needs as a carer are as important as the needs of the person you care for.

Stress and burnout

Stress builds up when demands go on for a long time with little chance to rest. Burnout is a state of physical and emotional exhaustion.

Signs you may be heading for burnout include feeling tired all the time, feeling irritable, tearful or numb, getting ill more often, and withdrawing from friends.

Carers UK found that 65% of carers who felt overwhelmed said it was because they could not take time away from caring. Breaks are not a luxury. They help you keep going.

Depression and anxiety

Low mood and worry are understandable when someone you love is changing. But if they go on for weeks and affect your daily life, you may have depression or an anxiety disorder. These are health conditions that can be treated.

Signs of depression can include:

• feeling low, hopeless or empty most of the time
• losing interest or pleasure in things
• sleeping badly or much more than usual
• changes in appetite
• finding it hard to concentrate or make decisions
• feeling guilty or worthless

Signs of anxiety can include:

• constant worry that is hard to control
• feeling on edge or restless
• a racing heart, tight chest or panic attacks
• trouble sleeping because of worry

If this sounds like you, talk to your GP. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not failure.

Sleep

Poor sleep is common for carers. You may be woken by the person at night, or lie awake worrying.

The NHS suggests:

• going to bed and getting up at the same times each day
• relaxing before bed
• keeping the bedroom quiet and comfortable
• avoiding caffeine and screens before bed
• regular exercise during the day

If the person you care for is waking you, ask the GP or an Admiral Nurse about their sleep, and ask the council about night-time support or respite. The NHS says to see a GP if insomnia goes on for months or affects daily life. The GP may suggest cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia. The NHS says sleeping pills are rarely prescribed now, and only for a short time.

Guilt

Dementia UK says guilt is very common in carers. You might feel guilty about:

• feeling frustrated or losing your temper
• not doing enough
• wanting time for yourself
• neglecting other people in your life
• thinking about a care home

Dementia UK suggests naming what is causing the guilt, talking about your feelings, setting limits, and remembering that you are human and cannot do everything yourself. It also stresses that moving someone to a care home is not a failure.

Grief and loss

Grief does not only come after death. Many carers grieve while the person is still alive, as their memory, personality or relationship changes. This is sometimes called anticipatory grief. It can be confusing and lonely, because others may not recognise it.

It can help to talk to people who understand, such as a carers’ group or an Admiral Nurse, and to make time for moments of connection that still work, like music or old photos.

Dementia UK has information on grief, loss and when someone no longer recognises you.

Getting help

Your GP

• Tell your GP you are a carer. Dementia UK explains that registering as a carer with your GP practice can make it easier to get support, such as help applying for a carer’s assessment.
• Talk about your own health, including mood, anxiety and sleep. The GP can discuss treatment options.

NHS Talking Therapies

In England, you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies for anxiety and depression if you are registered with a GP. Treatments include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, ask your GP what is available.

Carer’s assessment and breaks

Ask your local council for a free carer’s assessment. It looks at how caring affects your wellbeing, work and free time, and may lead to support such as breaks. NICE says carers should be told about their right to this. See caring for someone.

Helplines

• Dementia UK’s Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline: 0800 888 6678
• Carers UK Helpline: 0808 808 7777
• Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Support Line: 0333 150 3456

See support and helplines for opening hours.

When a psychiatric assessment may help

Most carers get the help they need from their GP, NHS Talking Therapies and carers’ services. Sometimes a specialist opinion can help, for example if:

• low mood, anxiety or poor sleep have lasted a long time despite treatment
• you are unsure whether medication might help
• your symptoms are complicated, or you have had mental health problems before
• you would like a detailed assessment and plan

Happy Clinic’s GMC-registered consultant psychiatrists see adults aged 18 and over by video, anywhere in the UK. You do not need a GP referral. Happy Clinic can assess and treat conditions such as depression, anxiety, work stress and burnout, adjustment difficulties, and insomnia linked to mood or anxiety. Appointments are often available within a few days, depending on clinician availability.

After the assessment, the psychiatrist agrees a treatment plan with you. This may include medication, advice on therapy options and follow-up appointments. A clinical summary is sent to you, and to your GP with your consent.

Fees

Happy Clinic’s fees are paid in advance:

Prescriptions issued in appointments are included in the fee. Pharmacy dispensing charges are not. Fees checked September 2026. See Happy Clinic’s pricing page for current fees.

Small steps that help

Take a short break each day, keep in touch with at least one friend, and accept offers of help. Looking after yourself is part of caring well. Read more on caring for someone and living well.